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We've been close companions with a woman, who has overcome several hardships, her resilience is commendable. However, she's often taken by surprise in relationships. Her husband left her, which came as a huge shock. A lot of her social circle vanished during that time, as they were drawn to her husband. This surprised her. She made increased attention in our friendship, and must have realised more clearly what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues In Relationships

Over the years, many in her circle have drifted apart leaving her sure why. Her previous job turned on her, even though she was very skilled at her work, she departed without knowing why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we have each stepped back from work and are seeing frequent meetups, but I am finding my role in our friendship feels one-sided. I introduce topics of conversation but she shifts the talk toward things she cares about. Regarding political views, she expresses unyielding views. I attempt to recommend verifying facts and alternate views.

She is planning a holiday abroad I know well on several occasions even called home for some time. I tried to share personal experiences, however, my input met with resistance. She purely only wanted validation of her plans. I have come back from 30 days in that country she is eager to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate in this role who cuts and runs abruptly, yet I doubt she can comprehend the impact of her behaviour on my confidence. At this point, I find myself in pulling back. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

You could walk away, yet this is not often the peaceful resolution we imagine. However, addressing it with a view to resolution demands strength and openness for each of you.

Experts suggest trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step involves describing how things go when you talk. This needs to be based on facts and essentially what a recording device would replay. The second involves sharing her how it leaves you feeling. There should be no argument here. Your feelings are your feelings, after all. The third step is to question how you are both can shift the dynamics between you."

Keep in mind that she also has a point of view, meaning you must to stay open to hear that. One effective method involves stating your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

This can be effective for promoting understanding.

Closing Considerations

This person might reject all you say, since certain individuals have a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a version of their life they won't let go of because their very survival relies on it and it represents familiar to them. This is difficult as there is no easy route in such cases, just dead ends. But she may initially present defensively then consider your perspective. If you don't achieve an agreement, you'll have peace knowing you were honest with her.